Monday, September 30, 2019

Excerpt Reveal: Book 'Em Piper

Title: Book'em Piper
Series: Iron Badges #3, Iron Orchids #10
Author: Danielle Norman
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: October 8, 2019


I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, an area that even the cops avoided.
The only light in my dark, was the boy next door. He was my hero.
And I was his Sunshine, at least that is what he called me.

Liam Kane wasn't just my neighbor, he was my first and only crush. 
He looked after me when I couldn't look after myself. 
When he disappeared my life returned to an endless grey. 

Now after all these years we're face to face. 
But we're standing on opposite sides of the law.    
He's a part of the Heretics MC and I'm a deputy. 

I’m all grown up and more than capable of handling myself.
But I dream about Liam’s capable hands.
Everything has changed... except my feelings for him.

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Chapter One

“Keep talking there, Twinkletoes, I’ll marry your dad and make you my stepchild.” I glared at three teenage girls who were destined to grow-up and be a drain on some man’s wallet as they walked past me on their way to the yellow Volkswagen Beetle.
“God, how manly.”
“I bet she’s single.”
“Hasn’t she ever heard of makeup?”
But seriously, what was up with teenagers these days? I was a fucking deputy in a fucking uniform and they still had the audacity to give me attitude. 
“If I ever say, that I want to be a cop, shoot me, will you?” One of the girls asked her friends.
“They won’t have to, I’ll do it for them,” I said in a low whisper. The entire time they were cataloging my flaws and their disdain for my job, I was straddling my sheriff’s motorcycle, while parked in a convenience store’s parking lot. The owner had been having problems with teenagers coming in after school harassing his patrons. Case and point.
A loud wolf whistle pierced the air, and I turned to find a boy hanging out of a truck. I rolled my eyes as the girls started to giggle. 
“Oh my god, Devin just whistled at you,” one of the girls said.
“I can’t believe it, does that mean he thinks I’m pretty?”
“Oh, Breezy, of course it does. You’re so pretty,” her friends reassured her.
“You really think so? I need to lose weight . . .” 
I smiled as I watched her twirl one loose strand around a finger. The only thing missing was her blowing a giant wad of bubble gum. It was all a little too cliché for me.
The boys in the truck pulled out and the girls got into their car and chased them. In their pursuit they plowed through an intersection ignoring a stop sign and cutting off several cars. 
I rolled my eyes. Fuck.
Nothing beat the feeling of twisting the throttle, the sun beating down on my back, or the vibration between my legs. Holy shit, I couldn’t believe that I just thought that, but it was true. There was just something about being on a Harley, and I was one of the lucky few who got to ride to my heart’s content since I not only rode for fun but also rode for work.
Okay, one thing beat all of that—the adrenaline rush I got every time I flipped on my lights, which I did a second before I went after the pale yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Some days, karma was a bitch and others she was your best friend, kind of like today. Yeah, Karma and I, we go way back.
“Well, hello, ladies, it seems that you were in a hurry.” I slightly lowered my sunglasses and smirked at three stunned teenagers. “I’m going to need to see your license and registration.”
“I can’t get a ticket; I’ll be grounded from my car.”
“You probably should have thought about that before you blew threw the stop sign and cut off those other vehicles.”
“But we came out of the parking lot and turned right. The stop sign is, like, right there, she already stopped and checked when she came out,” the blonde explained, obviously acting as the leader of the pack from the passenger seat.
“Number one, that doesn’t matter. You have to stop at every stop sign. Number two, you didn’t stop at the one in the parking lot either.”
“Just give me the ticket.” The driver turned to her friends. “I’ll just pay it before anyone knows.” 
“I’m actually writing you for two different tickets for failure to come to a complete stop as well as reckless driving since you cut off those other cars.” I glanced down at the registration I held in my hands. “Oh, this isn’t your name on the title of the car.”
“No, it’s my dad’s. He gave me the car for my birthday.”
“I’m going to have to call your parents since it is in his name.” I glanced down at her driver’s license and bit back a scoff. Breezy Kidd, yes, that was her fucking name, no shit.
“You can’t do that,” the girl in the passenger seat demanded. “This is harassment. You are harassing us.”
I leaned down so I was at eye level. “What’s your name?”
“I don’t have to tell you.”
“Umm, actually you do. All three of you have to hand your IDs over to me.”
The one girl in the back seat complied and passed hers forward, but the girl in the passenger seat was on my last nerve. “I don’t have it with me.”
“Here’s the issue. Your friend Breezy is eighteen and has committed enough traffic violations that I can write her up for illegal right hand turn, failure to yield right away, careless driving, illegal lane change, and reckless driving, which is criminal, requires her attendance in front of a judge, and can cause her car to be impounded. So, either you comply with the law or the law will not be in your favor.” 
Breezy jerked her head and stared at the passenger. “Hand over your license.”
“I’d listen to your friend. Because if the car is impounded, I’m going to have to call a squad car to come get you until you present your ID. We need to make sure you don’t have any warrants or that you aren’t a minor.” Finally getting through to her, she grabbed her license from her bag and handed it to me. I looked at the name. Brittany. Why wasn’t I shocked? “Now I’ll start with you, give me your parent’s phone number,” I said to the driver. She called her dad and was instantly in tears. Clearly, she knew how to play him. The girl in the back seat, Mikayla, who’d been the quietest, called her mom, had tears in her eyes, and even apologized to me . . . there was hope for the future yet. Brittany called her mom, and it was clear that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
“Mom, Breezey got pulled over. Some female cop.” The girl paused, and it didn’t take Neil Fucking Armstrong to figure out that they were bashing me. “Yeah, probably, she looks like she was probably checking us out. You’re right, that’s probably why she pulled us over. Okay. Love you too, bye.” 
When all three were done, I’d written Breezy a ticket with three different citations, and then I let them go. And whoever said that being cop wasn’t fun? 
It was close to quitting time, so I eased into traffic and headed back toward the stations, but before I got far, my radio crackled with an incoming a call. 
“Orange County, Commercial, Signal twenty-nine, Alpha, 441 and Waterbridge.”
I wanted to get home as much as the next person, but I was only two blocks away, and as much as I hated it, this was part of my job too. 
“Thirteen-seventeen, reference signal twenty-nine commercial alpha, I’m nearby. Assign it to me.”
“Orange County copies, seventeen thirty-three. Alarm, Hampton Storage, monitoring company has tried to get in contact with the property owner. Internal motion sensor has not been triggered.”
“Ten ninety-seven.” I stopped talking after giving dispatch the code that told them I was on scene. I dismounted my bike and checked the doors to the main building, which were all locked. I pulled a card out of my pocket and stuck it through the mail slot, proof that I was here and checked. The sign said that they closed at six PM, and since it was ten of six, my guess was that someone cut out early today. 
With nothing of note happening out front, I got back on my bike and slowly drove around toward the back. The alarm was still blaring as I rounded the corner to find the back gates wide open and two men on Harleys parked in front of a closed unit.
Even from forty yards away, I could tell that the men were wearing cuts and not just any cuts, they were members of the Heretics. Orlando had several biker gangs, many being one percenters. Most of them lived by the rule: leave us the fuck alone and we will leave you the fuck alone. But not the Heretics. Nope, they were the bullies. The I-want-to-start-a-fight-just-because-I-can type. The type of gang that will kick someone’s ass because they thought it made them look big. When they were done, their victims were seldom left breathing.
So, I stayed where I was and called into dispatch. 
“Thirteen-seventeen, ten fifty-six, Hamptons Storage on Waterbridge, signal forty-four, expedite, multiple subjects, known signal zero.” That sounded good, I needed backup because they were people who were known to be armed and dangerous. 
Retreating wasn’t an option, I was a deputy, this was my job, and the last thing I wanted was to turn my back on known killers.
At that moment, I wished for a car full of snotty teenagers over these guys, I could handle them. I said a prayer for backup to be nearby and that they would hurry, and I had just finished it about the same time the subjects turned in my direction. I could feel their eyes boring into me. Chills went down my spine, and I flipped my snap on my holster to give my fingers something to do, my heart thumping as the two riders rode over to me.
They were night and day, the one on the left looked like Hollywood’s version of scary biker dude. His cut read Sergeant at Arms, Bladder. 
What kind of name was Bladder? He was of medium build, had a beard that could double as a rat’s nest, chains that hung from his pockets to his belt loops, and his face was . . . well . . . all I could do was hear Ham’s voice from The Sandlot. “You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.”
The other guy also had a beard, but his was what they called a groomed beard—like he actually gave a damn if crumbs fell onto his face. He probably weighed two hundred pounds, and his cut read Candy. I would never understand where bikers get their names. He was on his bike, so I had to take that into account, but I would put him at least six feet.
As I continued my mental catalog, I took in his dirty-blond hair, his muscular arms. I studied the shaped of his face, sloping nose, hooded eyes, and then froze when I locked on to hazel eyes. Eyes that I still saw in my dreams. My eyes darted to his upper lip, and I caught myself before I could lean forward, not to touch him but to get a closer look at the scar there, it wasn’t as pronounced as the one Liam had when we were kids, but that was normal, scars faded over time, right?
It was as if I was eight years old again and he had been reading me Harry Potter. He’d taken me to the park and we both picked sticks to make into wands. When we got back to his house, he’d grabbed a pocketknife and had attempted to carve my name into my “wand.” When he tried to smooth the edges, he pulled back on the blade and lost control and cut his lip. He ended up getting stitches. 
It wasn’t long after that when he left during the night without saying goodbye, but I knew this was him.
“Liam?” I asked.

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Author Bio

Before becoming a romance writer, Danielle was a body double for Heidi Klum and a backup singer for Adele. Now, she spends her days trying to play keep away from Theo James who won’t stop calling her or asking her out. 

And all of this happens before she wakes up and faces reality where in fact she is a 50 something mom with grown kids, she's been married longer than Theo’s been alive, and now get her kicks riding a Harley.

As far as her body, she can thank, Ben & Jerry’s for that as well as gravity and vodka. But she says that she could never be Adele’s backup since she never stops saying the F-word long enough to actually sing.

Danielle writes about kickass women with even better shoes and the men that try to tame them (silly silly men).

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Saturday, September 28, 2019

Review: Bittersweet Moments

For this review, I chose Bittersweet Moments by Emily Bowie.

I received an ARC copy of the ebook for a honest review of this book.

Here is a brief description from Goodreads:
Not all true love has that fairytale magic. Happily ever after can be bittersweet.

I swear I was staring at a ghost. Raya Stratton died five years ago. But one shared look was all it took to open a vault of secrets. With lies and greed unraveling together, we learn that a single mistake could cost both of us more than we are willing to lose.

The only way to escape my power thirsty father was to leave the only man I ever loved. We were supposed to have our fairytale ending. Instead, I tore that chapter out, burning it, along with the rest of my future, in order to protect the secret that would show itself in a few months.

This is Book #3 in the Steele Family series and it is my favorite book.  It had everything I look for in a book- romance, heartache, twists and turns.  I can not wait to read the next book on Rhett.  Every time I have read a book in this series it is like coming home.

I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.
Recommend this book? Yes! Author? Yes!
Read more from this author? Yes!

Happy Reading!
Review coming next: 

FTC Disclosure: The Publisher/Author/Book Tour Company has provided me with a copy of this book for review or I have purchased the book with my own funds.  The opinion I share about the story are mine and have not been influenced by the The Publisher/Author/Book Tour Company if received for review.

Friday, September 27, 2019

Release Tour: Burning Love

Title: Burning Love
Series: Slow Burn Book 1
Author: Jacie Lennon
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: September 27, 2019 Cover Design: Alora Kate at Cover Kraze
EZRA FIELDS IS A FIREFIGHTER AND SINGLE DAD. He spends his days fighting flames in Nashville, Tennessee, and his best nights are spent at home with his favorite girl—his daughter, Livie. With zero time for distractions, he has no room in his life for other females—not even a sassy blonde-haired beauty and the first woman to spark his interest in years. Ezra doesn’t need to get involved. So, he walks away without getting her name or giving his. 

HANNA WALTERS HAS NO INTEREST IN SETTLING DOWN. She can’t even commit to a hair color or an address to call home, much less a man. She’s too busy with her career as a traveling nurse and a relationship is the last thing she needs or wants. It’s especially inconvenient when she falls—literally—for the one person as uninterested in love as she is. At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself. 
Will a spark turn into a wildfire, or will their love go down in flames?

Join the Release Party on September 27th
Jacie Lennon is a dental hygienist whose guilty pleasure is writing romance. She lives in Tennessee with her husband and kids. Her home is fiercely protected by a basset hound, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel, and a tabby cat. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, playing with her kids, or devouring an entire container of Oreo Thins in one day.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Release Blitz: Love Walks In

Title: Love Walks In
Series: Bliss Cove #1
Author: Nina Lindsey
Genre: Spicy Sweet Contemporary Romance
Cover Design: Najla Qamber Designs
Release Date: September 26, 2019


Bus ticket to hometown of Bliss Cove – $124.50
Purchase of old building and business license – $35,250
Thirteen orphaned cats – free
Finally proving to her family that she can be successful – priceless

Shaking off her past mistakes and fickle reputation, Aria Prescott is determined to start a new life with her latest venture, the “Meow and Then Cat Café.” Though the café is in the town’s most rundown neighborhood, Aria will let nothing stop her from success.

Then property developer Hunter Armstrong shocks the Mariposa Street shop owners with a buyout offer that threatens to destroy the old district. Aria refuses to let the ruthless businessman intimidate her into selling her beloved café, even if Hunter’s dark, glowering sexiness secretly makes her want to purr.

Aria and Hunter are soon locked in a fiery, tense war over the fate of Mariposa Street. But when Hunter starts falling for this sexy town sweetheart, he discovers that winning the battle might mean losing his heart.

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Free in Kindle Unlimited


Chapter One

Good things came in large, thick envelopes. At least, that was what Aria Prescott had always believed. Wedding invitations, college acceptances, Christmas cards, love letters.
But this?
She sank onto a chair in her darkened café, crumpling the brown envelope in her fist. The formal letter was clipped to a stack of papers made heavier by the copious use of legalese—clauses, conditions, title. Financial terms.
Dropping the letter, she looked through the brick-and-glass partition separating the lounge from the front room of the café. Evening light illuminated the painted Meow and Then sign on the window. A chalkboard menu hung on the wall behind the counter. Wooden shelves held cat toys and cat-themed merchandise.
She’d created this. For the first time in her life, she’d gone the distance, gotten the job done, seen the plan through. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—let anything change that now.
Jumbo butted his fuzzy head against her arm.
“Sorry, sweetie.” Stroking the tabby cat’s ears, Aria got to her feet. “Thirteen orders of chicken bites in gravy coming right up.”
Cats of all sizes stirred from various lounging positions around the room. Tails swishing and ears perked, they padded over to the row of food and water dishes.
Pushing the letter out of her mind, Aria retrieved cans of chicken from the storage cabinet and prepared dinner for her thirteen charges. A few of them meowed and slithered around her legs, while others sat waiting regally for their meal to be served.
A one-eyed cat with patchy fur, a torn left ear, and a sharp fanged tooth poking out of his mouth crouched under a table.
“Come on, Fang.” Aria clicked her tongue at the old cat, who glared at her. “Yummy chicken.”
She filled a separate dish and set it close to him. Only when she backed away did he edge forward to eat.
After refilling the water dishes, she tied the full trash bag and headed out the back door to put it in the garbage bin. A thick layer of ocean fog and encroaching rainclouds covered the sky, blocking the sunset. Though the April weather had been temperate, evenings were cool in the coastal California town of Bliss Cove.
It was Aria’s favorite time of year—warm days bursting with color and new life followed by chilly nights of sweatshirts and bonfires. But this spring was more important than all previous ones because before summer arrived, Aria’s mother and two older sisters would see that she could not only follow through with a plan, but make it a success. She’d finally prove that she was stronger and smarter than anyone—herself included—had believed.
The backdoor of the café creaked. A large calico peered at her from the crack in the open door, which she never forgot to close.
Until now. Not the greatest start to smarter.
“Hey, boy.” Keeping her voice soft, she locked her gaze to his. “Go back inside. I’ll…Porkchop!”
Faster than a blink, the cat shot into the alley and ran.
“Porkchop!” Aria slammed the door shut so the other cats wouldn’t escape. She hurried around to the front of the café just as his swishing tail disappeared around the corner. “Who knew you could move so fast? Porkchop!”
Soon it would be dark and rainy. Breaking into a run, Aria followed the cat away from Mariposa Street. The rundown historic district was at least three miles from the center of downtown. Shops and restaurants lined the streets converging toward the popular and busy Starfish Avenue.
Annoyance flickered through her. In the two weeks she’d had Porkchop, he’d proven to be both wily and smug. He’d chewed rolls of paper towels, shoved other cats off the windowsill, and Aria swore he’d deliberately broken one of the cat figurines in the lounge.
There! A black-and-orange furball was just visible under a parked pick-up truck. She crept forward and extended her hand.
“Come on, Porkie Pie,” she crooned. “Come back home and I’ll give you some nice tuna fish…Porkchop!”
He darted away. Several passers-by paused to try and catch him. The overweight cat continued to move surprisingly fast, evading every grasp.
Aria’s lungs started to burn. Skidding in her flat, strappy sandals, she caught sight of him crossing the street to the ramshackle Outside Inn. The old Queen Anne building sprawled over an expanse of tree-dotted lawn with a trail leading to Pelican Beach.
Heavy raindrops started to fall. Aria hurried up the pathway leading to the wrap-around porch. Thick shrubs and overgrown weeds lined the foundation of the inn underneath the multiple lighted windows. Porkchop shot behind a dense boxwood.
“You little…” She pushed through the shrubs, cursing as her flowy cotton skirt caught on a wet branch and tore. “You’re lucky I took you on, you ungrateful little mouse catcher. If it weren’t for me, you’d be…Porkchop!”
Tail swishing, he bounded to the corner of the inn. If he took off toward the beach trail…she’d never find him on the dark shoreline. But under the awning, he was protected from the rain. Maybe he’d opt for comfort over risk and adventure.
Comfort is a far better choice, my feline friend. Trust me on that.
The cat stopped. His whiskers twitched. His yellow eyes gleamed. Aria gritted her teeth.
“You come here right now.” She clapped her hands sharply and raised her voice. “I work very hard to give you and your fellow feline brethren a nice place to live, and I do not appreciate being forced to race through the—”
A window slammed open right above her. “What the hell is going on out here?”
The deep male voice boomed like thunder. Aria’s heart jumped into her throat. Forcing an apologetic smile onto her lips, she straightened and looked up. Right into the scowling face of a man whose glare burned right into her.
She opened and closed her mouth. No words came out. Her heart raced.
“Well?” His black eyebrows snapped together over his intense dark eyes. He was still holding the window sash up, and the lifted position of his arms stretched his white dress shirt over impressively bulging biceps.
“What are you doing out here?” he barked.
“I….there’s a cat.” Trying to gather her scattered wits, she ran shaking hands over her dress. “Uh, I was just—”
“You were annoying the crap out of me is what you were just doing.”
Irritation stiffened Aria’s spine.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you.” She indicated Porkchop, who was still sitting at the corner of the inn, staring at the man as if he, too, were transfixed by his sheer potency. “I’m trying to save my cat.”
His mouth twisted sardonically. “Your cat.”
“My felis catus, if you want the Latin term.”
He expelled an impatient breath, his scowl deepening. Letting go of the window sash, he raked a hand through his disheveled dark hair. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, revealing tanned forearms corded with muscle.
Good God. Who was he, this man whose glower ratcheted up his sexiness by about a thousand degrees?
And what was she doing fixating on him when she still had to catch Porkchop? The rain was coming down harder.
“I apologize.” She drew her shoulders back and met his smoldering black eyes. “My cat escaped and made his way here, for some reason. I’m trying to catch him.”
He shot a glare at the animal, who was still staring and twitching his tail. “Given his size, it doesn’t look as if catching him should be that hard.”
Aria frowned, stung by the dig about Porkchop’s weight. “I’ll thank you not to insult my cat.”
“You named him Porkchop.”
“I didn’t name him. And he is on a metabolic feline weight management program.”
“Maybe that’s why he ran away.”
“I know this doesn’t look plausible, but he’s led me on a wild goose chase…or maybe I should say a wild cat chase…” She chuckled at the joke. Glowering Stranger did not. “Anyway, my point is that despite his girth, Porkchop can run pretty darned fast.”
He turned his scowl on to her. An oddly pleasurable shiver raced down her spine, which made no sense. Before she could move, or even think, he hefted himself over the window sill and landed onto the ground in front of her.
Aria’s breath stopped. Like, stopped, right in the middle of her chest.
In addition to being dangerously sexy, he was also big—well over six feet with wide shoulders and a broad chest that was no doubt a landscape of hard muscles. With him standing right in front of her, she practically felt the power and energy coiling through every millimeter of his body. The garden lights cast shadows over his strong features, emphasizing the cut-glass lines of his jaw and cheekbones, his thick-lashed eyes, and a beautifully shaped mouth that looked as if it were made to do dirty things to a woman.
Parting her lips, Aria forced air into her lungs before she started getting dizzy.
“If you’ll step aside, I’ll get my cat.” She managed to sound both haughty and cool, even though her blood was hot and her heart pounding.
“Been real successful at that so far, haven’t you?” Arching an eyebrow, he turned toward Porkchop.
After admiring the fact that his back was as appealing as his front, Aria edged backward. If he approached the cat from this side, and she darted around behind Porkchop, they might be able to box him in.
He took a few steps toward the cat. Porkchop blinked at him. Glowering Stranger made a deep, rumbling noise that was obviously meant to soothe the animal, but that also had the strangest effect on Aria—like a hot wave rolling over her skin and settling right into her core.
Suppressing the ridiculous sensation, she prepared to move around and surround the cat as soon as the man got close enough.
“Good boy.” Glowering Stranger bent and picked Porkchop up as if the cat were…well, a docile, pick-up-able creature who hadn’t just fled through the streets of Bliss Cove like an escaped felon.
Aria gaped. Porkchop just...curled into the man’s arms as if he didn’t have the slightest interest in getting away. In fact, the little traitor even nuzzled his furry head against Glowering Stranger’s chest.
Aria had the fleeting thought that she’d like to do the same thing.

Coming Soon

Releasing October 2019

An expert on the hot, wild tales of mythology, Callie Prescott leads a tidy life. And that, thank you, is exactly how she wants it, despite her family’s pestering that she’s a control freak who needs to have fun. Callie prefers order and predictability. After her father’s death and her mother’s recent health scare, who can blame her? 

Jake Ryan fights bad guys, jumps out of airplanes, and escapes disasters…on film. But when a scandal engulfs his career, he takes cover in his hometown of Bliss Cove while he puts out the fire. No one knows his true identity until a chance encounter with Callie ignites powerful flashbacks of their high-school years together.

Despite the threat of exposure, Jake wants some close-up action with the brilliant, beautiful professor. Callie’s structured life has no room for a sexy, muscular hero…until Jake shows her how thrilling it is to have fun and lose control (a little).

Jake and Callie surrender to a hot affair and the possibility of love. But with dangerous secrets, a public scandal, and a mother’s scheming plots, can Jake ever win the starring role in his leading lady’s heart?

Releasing November 2019

Rory Prescott is desperate for a place to stay before she leaves Bliss Cove for her lucrative new tech job. Tavern owner Grant Taylor is desperate for a date to his brother’s wedding before his mother tries to marry him off next.

Grant makes Rory a deal—he’ll let her stay in his cottage if she’ll pretend to be his girlfriend. Though the two friends bicker over everything from her love of gummy worms to the horrible singing fish he has on the tavern wall, “pretending” to like each other isn’t a stretch. 

As they share close quarters, argue about cell phones, and exchange more than one hot kiss, their fake relationship soon becomes passionately real.

But Grant’s family battles and Rory’s impending career move shut down any possibility of a happy ending. Their hot, tender romance is about to crash and burn…unless they’re willing to risk everything for love.

Author Bio

Nina Lindsey writes romances filled with heart, heat, and happy endings. She is delighted to introduce readers to Bliss Cove, California, a coastal town with an abundance of warm cookies, ocean breezes, and the ever-present possibility of love.

Nina loves all things spicy and sweet, with chili chocolates being at the top of the list. She is also a fan of glossy magazines, pop culture, Gilmore Girls, energy bites, Orangetheory, and the sound of silence.

She lives in Wisconsin with her meteorologist husband (yes, she asks him daily, "What's the weather forecast?"), their two children, a hyperactive dog, and a snail named Pipsqueak.

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